Some Good Thoughts On Marriage

This is a post by one of my friends on Facebook, from January 20, 2026.]

On the 6th of January this year, my wife and I celebrated our 54th wedding anniversary. We did not have a public celebration with friends and family, rather we ordered a giant pizza and enjoyed a quiet day at home.

I do not know how time has passed so quickly. It seems that only a few days ago, we were surrounded by our nine children, busy doing family matters, and earning a living.

There was never a dull moment at our house because we were always doing something. There were many joyful times, but there were bad times too. At times, either our children were squabbling, or Cindy and I were disagreeing about one thing or another. I am actually surprised we made it 54 years together, but we have a relationship with the Lord and came to know HIS unconditional love. In Christ and through Christ, we made it and have learned to love one another in spite of our ways.

Modern couples give up too easily. Many folks believe their mate is there to serve them and make them happy. For instance, I have known many men who divorce their mates when she is no longer a "trophy wife" and no longer looks like the 18-year-old girl they married. I also know a lady who married a mediocre man who provided a good living for his family, but never achieved the financial level she desired. When their last child left their house, she divorced her husband of 20 years and married a handsome, rich man. You might guess how that turned out.

In my opinion, marriage is not a 50/50 proposition because to make a marriage work, each spouse must give 100% to staying married. I still have many of the faults I had when Cindy and I were married. After 54 years, I can still be irritable, overbearing, disrespectful, arrogant, and rude, and those are just a few of my better faults. Cindy is not perfect, but her list is not nearly as long as my list. I actually do not know how she has lived with me so long without being acquitted of "murder" on the grounds of " justifiable homicide." When we married, I definitely got the best of the partnership. Cindy has definitely been some of the glue that has kept our family and marriage together. Through the years, we have learned to recognize and forgive the other's faults and shortcomings. Eventually, we learned we needed to be 100% committed to each other and our marriage if we were going to make things work.

I have been asked many times, " What is the secret to a lasting marriage? " I will explain my opinion of that as this article unfolds.

We have stayed married through financial trials, infidelity on my part, and all kinds of family trials. In later years, troubles surrounding our adult children have plagued us as much or more than any problems we faced when our children were young. Through all that, God has been faithful to us and our children. The Lord was our rock during difficult times, helping us grow in HIM by teaching us to love, forgive, and remain joyful through all the hard times.

Remember, there is a good God living in us, and HE goes through our trials with us. God lives in us and can guide us through the tough times. He cares about us and loves us regardless of how bad our mistakes are. God loves us when we do not love ourselves. He forgives us when we can not forgive ourselves. Coming to know the Father's love can help us through the most trying times. Because Cindy and I have gradually come to know the love of God, our marriage has endured 54 years. But we learned both spouses have to listen to and obey the instructions of the Lord. If one party falls into their own understanding, wants, and desires, then the marriage can fail. We have free will, so choose wisely, because neither the devil nor God makes you do what you do. You make your own choices.

You have a choice of whom you marry. Choose a good mate who believes in the LORD and wants to grow more in the Lord. Choose someone who has your best interests at heart and will love you when you are unlovable. Choose someone you like. If you do not like your mate, it will be hard to love them. Choose someone you want to be intimate with. Love-making is an important part of a marriage. Remember, if there are rocks in the marriage bed, there will be rocks in the marriage. Choose someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Choose someone whom you can love more each passing day. There are many more tips to a lasting marriage, but one of the most important is to remember to humble yourself and pray together, and put the Lord at the center of your relationship.

That's all I can say about that - anything else would be redundant. My wish for you is that you live long and prosper in the Lord.