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Obama's Alternate Reality

April 20, 2009

A wife confronted her husband in bed with another woman. As the other woman hastily donned her clothes and beat a hasty retreat, the husband looked deep into his wife's eyes and said, "What woman?" As in, "Who are you going to believe, me or the evidence of your own eyes?"

A parallel scenario is playing out in the media, with the White House denying that President Obama actually bowed to the Saudi King on his recent trip abroad.

Despite the widely circulated video of said event showing Obama kowtowing to some Arab dude, we are expected to believe the White House line that Obama didn't bow. The word 'bow' has thus joined ranks with the word 'is' in terms of, well, a matter of definition. Context, if you will.

Like a small boy caught with a chocolate mustache summoning outrage, outrage on being accused of eating mom's chocolate cake, so too, is the left in high dungeon over the temerity of some disgruntled fringe kooks daring to challenge the evidence of their own eyes. "He didn't bow; he's just a tall guy and had to bend over!" Right.

Obama's latest complete disregard of reality is not an isolated incident. Those of the liberal, oops, progressive persuasion are adept at crafting their own reality. And any challenge to their reality is met with immediate deflection and scorn for the one who is so utterly naive that they haven't recognized that the rules, along with words, have changed. Evolved, as they say.

Language is now like the constitution. The 'living' Constitution, adopted by liberals to reflect the times rather than the meaning of the founders, now means whatever an activist judge says it means. And the new, improved language of the left now means whatever the liberals, oops, progressives, want it to mean.

To understand the ever changing rules, one is advised to keep a small notebook in order to keep track of the current reality. The word liberal has been replaced with progressive. The term investment has replaced the nasty old word taxes. Climate change has replaced global warming, which makes sense, since the earth is cooling, and 'climate crisis' sounds almost as scary as a 'global warming crisis'.

Oh, and the word bow now means 'A gesture of submission wherein the subservient one kneels and touches his forehead to the ground in front of the dominant one.' And Obama most decidedly didn't do that, as any moron can see.

The list goes on.

This progressive rearrangement of reality has a name. In medical terms, it's called cognitive dissonance. But the ever changing rules now dictate that anyone who mentions that inconvenient fact is, de facto, a member of the vast right wing conspiracy. And membership in that group automatically nullifies any criticism. Got it?

Actually, in terms of disorders, cognitive dissonance is a cool one to have. Imagine, being able to rearrange reality to your own specifications. Pretty heady stuff! In the blink of an eye, world peace is achievable. With the utterance of an impassioned plea, the world is magically free of nukes. With a nod from Obama, the UN becomes the only policing body the world needs. No longer do we need to waste millions on defense. All threats to our country are now only in the minds of conservatives.

And let's not forget those terrorists. All of a sudden, with the offer of a hand in peace, they are rendered harmless. (Please add Kumbaya to your notebooks.)

One of the coolest changes is in the word sin. Please note, sin now reflects only a few limited actions performed by those who still, gasp, believe in God or reside on the right. For the rest of us, the only sin is any action or crime against Mother Nature. Whew. No more Hail Mary's as long as you recycle.

Crime is another good one. Please note: crime now only refers to crimes against the environment or anything a Republican is accused of, as defined by those who know best. (Those who know best now means any government official).

All other crime, say, by actual criminals, is now classified as an involuntary act brought about by a hapless victim.

Obama promised us change. And by golly, we've gotten it. With a few adjustments here and there (don't worry, others will pay for them) we are on the brink of achieving utopia. If only in the minds of the liberals, oops, progressives.

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Copyright ©2009 Nancy Morgan

Nancy Morgan is a columnist and news editor for RightBias.com