What Leads To Stable Thinking?

Most of you would agree that we need more stable thinking these days. So, what leads to stable thinking? You’ve heard me say it many times. Here’s the answer. Use your horse sense, it leads to stable thinking. Using your God-given ‘horse sense’ or common sense can lead you and yours to your best life.

I found some real horse sense in an article that would interest you. This ‘horse sense’ is for real horses, but it applies to humans, too. Since almost everyone these days likes animals, and being a horse person myself, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to say something without saying it through a horse. Hopefully, this article, within my article, will help us gain some much-needed stable thinking. 

I discovered the article on Allison Hamley’s (a horse person) Facebook page. I checked out Allison and the article's content with two other horse expert friends I know. The horse experts agree with what is written. The article is entitled, Love Isn’t Enough: Why Letting Your Horse Walk All Over You Isn’t Noble – It’s Neglect.”  When reading the article, choose to be teachable, not offended. 

Let’s get one thing straight: Loving your horse doesn’t make you a good horse person. It makes you a person who loves horses. And that’s a great place to start. But love without leadership? That’s just chaos in a halter.

Your horse doesn’t need a best friend. Your horse needs a guide. They don’t need you to whisper sweet nothings while they are intentionally backing their haunches into your ribs. They don’t need cupcakes, kisses, or ten minutes of you crying into their ear about how “energy work is hard when you’re an empath.” Horses need boundaries. And no, boundaries are not abusive. Telling a 1,200-pound flight animal, “Hey, don’t trample me,” is not dominance. It’s self-preservation.

Now, let’s talk about that flag you hate so much. No, it’s not a weapon. No, it doesn’t “scare them into submission.” It’s a tool, like your reins, tone of voice, and timing. Like all tools, it’s only as harmful as the hands that wield it. You don’t build trust by never saying no. You build trust by showing up with clarity, fairness, and the courage to guide your horse through discomforting situations without falling apart yourself.

Because here’s the kicker: Horses crave leadership. Horses don’t want a roommate. They want to know who’s steering the ship when the wind picks up. And if that’s not you? They’ll decide it’s them, which doesn’t end well for anyone.

Barbaric isn’t boundaries. Barbaric is letting a horse live in confusion. For example, allowing your horse to bite you because “they were just playing,” or letting a horse kick at the farrier because “they had a bad day,” or allowing a horse to drag you to the grass because “it’s natural for them to graze” isn’t love. It’s enabling. And, enabling a horse to feel powerful in their anxiety is not compassion: It is cruelty dressed in softness.

Pressure on the horse isn’t the enemy. Unclear expectations are. By avoiding pressure, you’re not protecting your horse from trauma. You’re ensuring they never learn to handle it. This means they fall apart the first time the world applies pressure - a vet, a trailer, a gate they don’t want to go through. Why? Because you didn’t teach them how to cope, you taught them they never had to.

Let’s be honest: You’re not being gentle, you’re being afraid. Afraid of what? You’re afraid your horse will stop liking you if you set a boundary. You’re afraid you’ll break their spirit if you redirect them. Or you’re afraid of being seen as “harsh” if you step up and train. But horses don’t fear firmness. They fear inconsistency. They don’t lose trust when you say, “Don’t come into my space.” They lose trust when you say nothing - until you explode, freeze, or call them dangerous after three years of never saying no.

Soft hands still hold the line. True softness isn’t weakness. It’s calm, clear, and confident. It’s knowing when to apply pressure and when to release. And release isn’t a reward for doing nothing. It’s the moment you say: “Yes. That’s the right answer. You’re doing well.”

So, what’s the goal? Not control, not dominance, and not saying no. The goal is clarity, safety, and partnership. It’s the kind of relationship where your horse knows three things: where they stand, what the rules are, and that you’ll show up being steady, not sentimental. Because your horse deserves more than just sentimental love. Your horse deserves to be understood, guided, and safe in a world that doesn’t bend to their every whim.

Here's a final thought. If you’re still convinced that boundaries are cruel and discipline is domination, ask yourself: Do I love this horse enough to help them succeed in the human world? Because if the answer is yes, it’s time to stop whispering “I love you” and start saying, “I’ve got you.” That’s leadership. That’s trust. That’s the kind of love that holds up under pressure. That’s the kind of love that helps your horse rather than harms your horse.

I like this article because it reveals stable thinking and feelings, a refreshing change from the current feelings-only culture. It assumes personal responsibility for both the rider and horse. It addresses the oxymoron of cruel kindness, which is not love. While I agree that humans aren’t horses, there are many similarities in raising responsible horses and people. Both require effective discipline and support, not just support.

This article, by me, Mr. Ed, is high-octane fuel. It’s stable thinking from my stable to your stable for our stability.