Fixing The Culture, Part 6 – Repairing The Generational Divide

In the last place I was employed before retiring, a public utility, there were people working beside one another who were several generations apart (for instance, a Baby Boomer and a “Gen-Z-er,” one born after 2000). As the company’s internal auditor, it was my job to make suggestions for improving the operation, and one recommendation was to offer a training course that addressed the generational “gaps” and how to work together in harmony despite obvious differences in outlook. Such training already existed because someone had recognized the need for this long before I did.

The reason our company needed this training especially was that, unlike most current employers, once someone was employed there they tended to stay there for a 30-plus year career. Thus, there was a natural generational divide that was probably greater than it is in most places of employment. However, when we talk about generational differences, it should go far beyond the workplace.

To highlight this even within the family, I recently told my brother, who’s nine years younger than me, what the most significant events were in my growing up years that impacted my life going forward. There was a very happy one – the invasion of the Beatles to America in 1964 and how that influenced my tastes in music, individual freedom to be who you are, etc. But preceding that, there was a very unhappy one, the assassination of President Kennedy in 1963, which was a tragedy felt by every American who was old enough to understand. Since my brother was an infant then, those events simply didn’t mean as much to him as they did to me. Based on the generational intervals devised by the “experts,” both of us are considered Baby Boomers (born from 1945 – 1964), there are obviously some generational differences between us, even though we’re only nine years apart. It seems that the plethora of major events in the world of the last 50 years or so, the rapidity of their occurrence and the societal shifts that accompany them, may shorten the timeline and accentuate the problems brought on by generational differences.

With all due respect to Tom Brokaw and anyone referring to the World War II generation as the “Greatest,” they didn’t necessarily make the greatest parents. In their defense, little was known then about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and vets therefore kept most of their problems under wraps in the name of being “strong,” at least outwardly. However, it must have been tough as a parent to deal with the emotional issues of parenting, not to mention marriage, while carrying that heavy load of terrible wartime memories around. Our Baby Boomer generation reacted by rebelling against what we saw as lack of empathy, hypocrisy in telling us to do as they said and not as they did, and sometimes outright meanness. So, when the Vietnam War came around, my generation was already rebelling against authority, and especially so when we suspected that we weren’t being told the truth. Some of us used the attitude of grievance to justify burning draft cards and/or escaping to Canada to avoid the draft, growing long hair, and smoking marijuana as visible signposts of our rebellion, etc. However, the old saying that when one sows the wind, they will reap the whirlwind (Hosea 8:7) seems to apply to my generation and what has followed us as adults.

The next generation, referred to as “Generation X,” a smaller group born between 1965-1975, have been called “latchkey children” since they were the first generation to have a “normal” experience of both parents or a single parent working, and thus having an empty house to come home to after school. So how have Baby Boomers and Gen X-ers fared as parents? Well, let’s just say some chinks in the armor of parental authority have appeared over the last 50 years. Disrespect for authority and even for dissenting opinions is now rampant across the culture, not to mention increasingly rebellious behavior. Why? Could it be because the Boomers’ disrespect of authority started a firestorm of such behavior that is now so deeply ingrained it seems like second nature? Could it also be God’s way of telling us that there are consequences to breaking the Fifth Commandment ("Honor thy father and mother…")?

The question is, how can we possibly overcome the differences in generations that are threatening to overwhelm our chances of ever getting along? How does the Boomer or Gen-Xer work in harmony alongside a Gen-Zer who may be sporting purple hair, multiple piercings and tattoos, and proclaims that he/she wishes to be addressed by certain pronouns only? In the end, as the generational training courses will emphasize, it all starts with an attempt at mutual respect. If we can look past the obvious differences and try to understand where that person is coming from, more often than not, it may produce a calming effect and a willingness for them to lower their walls. My wife is incredibly good at relating to younger people by engaging them where they are. For instance, instead of inwardly cringing at the massive tattoos on our server (as I do), she will politely ask them what the tattoos mean, and if they’re comfortable explaining why that is meaningful to them. What we’ve found is, regardless of generation, if you ask someone about themselves in a respectful manner, they will open up, and this is how meaningful relationships based on mutual respect begin. One conversation at a time.