"You shall know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free"
Publisher / Editor:
Paul Hayden

Sometimes, You Win - Sometimes, You Learn

January 13, 2025


Here’s an opening thought for us today. If people don’t like you, it might or might not be OK. You only need to be concerned if dogs don’t like you. Then, it’s a time of self-reflection.  

Think about this. We tend to adopt the attitudes of the people closest to us. That’s why a verse in the Ancient Scriptures says, “Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you.” Romans 1:12 NCV Doubters get what they expect, and so do believers. Negative people get what they expect, and so do positive people. It’s the same as sowing and reaping. Often, our attitude or outlook, either positive or negative, touches people before our message does. 

Management consultant Fred Smith points out that there are two kinds of people in any organization: polluters and purifiers. The polluters are like smokestacks, belching out dirty smoke all the time. They hate clear skies. They want their sky to be everyone else’s sky. No matter how good it gets, they find a way to make it gloomy. When people around them breathe their toxins, they feel sicker and sicker. 

On the other hand, purifiers make everything around them better. It doesn’t matter what kind of rotten atmosphere they encounter. They take in the toxic words of polluters just like everyone else does, but they filter them before passing them on. What goes inside them, gloomy and pessimistic, comes out of them fresh and clear. 

There are real examples of polluters changing direction and becoming purifiers in the real world. Polluters can go green by unleashing themselves from their attitude of gloom and doom. When polluters unleash themselves from the gloom and doom, they can zoom upward and onward. Here’s a real-life true story from Jon Gordon of moving from doom to zoom. 

“My wife’s friend wouldn’t stop complaining about her job, the company, the economy, and the lack of sales. I finally stopped her and said, ‘It’s simple. You have a choice. You can accept your company’s new policies, work with a positive attitude, and be your best every day, or find a new job. But whatever you do, stop complaining because it’s not doing you any good. Change your job or change your attitude.’

"I thought the conversation was over, and so was our friendship. Rachel wouldn’t speak to me for a few months. Then I saw her at a party, and she told me she decided to take my advice. She stayed at her job, stopped complaining, and started selling more. Three months after changing her attitude, her sales were up thirty percent, and a year later, her sales were up seventy percent. 

"The other day, three years after our initial conversation, I caught up with Rachel again and asked her how she was doing. She told me that her sales have continued to grow over the last two years. She’s been promoted twice and is working in her dream job. It’s the job she always wanted, and she’s more excited and passionate than ever.” That’s what I call—zoom. 

Consider these questions. Is complaining and polluting negativism to others sabotaging you and those around you? When you spend time with people, do they walk away feeling better or worse? Do you clear the air by giving them encouragement and a fresh perspective, or do they think downcast and feel discouraged? Observe how people respond to you, and you will know which group you belong to. If people don’t like you, it might be a sign. If your dog doesn’t like you, then it’s time for self-reflection. Sometimes you win. Sometimes, you learn. Notice, Rachel won after she learned.   

Why not go green with your outlook and attitude, too? Polluting the atmosphere with attitudes isn't working. I repeat, it's not working. Perhaps attitudes and outlooks cause just as much toxic pollution as exhaust emissions, maybe even more. This concept of polluters and purifiers applies to marriage, business, relationships, churches, politics, and almost everything else. 

It's OK to want change; I get that. It's OK to fix things that need fixing. And some changes need to happen soon. But don't become wounded, bitter, or cynical about what you want changed. Don't let the pollution on the outside of you get inside of you. Manage your issues, or your issues will manage you. Everyone has a clear idea of how others should lead their lives, but no idea how to lead their own. Watch what you watch and listen to what you listen to. Don't let the fights, doubts, and rhetoric on the outside of you get inside of you.  

Remember the three laws of sowing and reaping. You reap what you sow. You reap more than you sow. You reap later than you sow. If you sow word and attitude pollution, you reap toxic word and attitude pollution in increasing amounts for an extended period. The contrary is true also. The choices you make reveal you and then make you. 

Finally, you must start hanging out with people who fit your future, not your history. This article is for me today and, hopefully, for you too.


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Ed Delph is a leader in church-community connections.
Visit Ed Delph's website at www.nationstrategy.com