Love Says Yes To A No

What thoughts does the word “love” provoke in you? Is love the same as compassion? Is the current cultural definition of love in today’s world authentic love? Does love immediately create joy? Is it love when you give someone everything they want? 

Today, let’s explore a different aspect of God’s love that most people don’t know about. Lesson: Some people are like blotters – they soak it all in but get it all backward. Let’s move love forward! 

Dr. James Dobson wisely and accurately observes that love, without instruction, will not produce a child with self-discipline, self-control, and respect for fellow human beings. Often, the result is a misfit in society. “Believing that love alone is all that is needed for people is a tragic misconception about real love. Love is not always giving others what they want; love is doing for others what is best for them.” Zig Ziglar said that.

Zig Ziglar’s Something to Smile About book addresses real love in a chapter entitled “Love Says No to the Moment.” Here’s a real-life story that illustrates love saying no to the moment.

"That reminds me of my close friend, Bernie Lofchick, from Winnipeg, Canada. His son, David, was born with cerebral palsy and initially had a challenging time. When David was eighteen months old, Bernie and his wife, Elaine, had to put braces on David’s legs every night. The doctor instructed them to make the braces progressively tighter, which caused pain. David often pleaded, “Do we have to put them on tonight?” or “Do you need to make them so tight?” 

"But Bernie and Elaine loved David so much that they could say ‘no’ to the tears of the moment to say 'yes' to the laughter of a lifetime. Today, David is an active, healthy, successful businessman with a wife and three beautiful children. (I realize there may be better methods for treating David’s leg in today's world, but not back then).

"David’s success story is the result of a love so deep that the Lofchicks were willing to do for David what was best for him – and not what David wanted at the moment.”   

Get the message? In David’s case, saying “No” for the moment can be positive. Why? Because it’s saying “Yes” to the laughter of a lifetime. I’m sure what the Lofchicks did hurt them more than David. Sometimes, love can be challenging in the short run, but it is worth it in the long run. But ask all of them if the momentary pain is worth it. I think most of us know the answer to that question.

My sister-in-law (aka Nurse Ratched or Fang), a former ICU cardiac nurse, tells me the doctors want the patients to walk as soon as possible after open-heart surgery. Of course, the patients feel like a truck ran over them and don't want to walk. That’s the moment Nurse Ratched/Fang starts loving them. How? By saying “No” to staying in bed and creating complications, and saying “Yes” to a quicker recovery, better life, and being released from the hospital. That’s positive, not negative. It’s doing what is best for the patients, not what they want for the moment.

In our ‘Yes’ and positivity-obsessed, ‘do what is expedient’ culture, we move from “No” or negative atmospheres to somewhere or someone that makes us momentarily feel better about ourselves. Often, that is not what is best for us. According to the Oxford Dictionary, expedient means “a means of attaining an end, especially one that is convenient but considered improper or immoral. For example, "the current policy is politically expedient." Expedient is always to one’s own interests or one’s own advantage. Surely, the Lord has more for you than that. 

People influenced by pop culture and woke smoke frequently view the church or Bible as unfavorable or a "No" experience. So, they don't go to church. That's why so many churches today only want to preach positive, yes-type stuff, which in the short term looks and feels good, but in the long term, nothing changes ‘to’ the better if nothing changes ‘for’ the better. When the Bible says “no” to something, it always says “yes” to something better. Initially, what the Bible says may not be what you want, but it is what you need for the best life.

Consider these short examples. When the Bible says, “Thou shall not lie” (No), it is saying ‘Yes’ to truth, which sets you and others free. When the Bible says no to wrong living, God says yes to life abundantly. When the Bible says no to corruption, God says yes to honesty and fewer victims. When the Bible says “no, don’t go into massive debt,” God is saying “yes” to your financial peace, prosperity, and longevity. 

As I write this, I may be rubbing the fur the wrong way. But maybe the cat turns around? ‘Yes and No’ are like the two wings of a dove. When you say no to something, you say yes to something else. When God and the church seem negative, they're not. God’s promises are Yes and Amen. Look for the “God-yes” in every “No” that comes along. Then, you will experience God’s love. 

So, what is God saying now? "Come. Sit down. Let's reason this out." Come, sit down, and reason is God's Message. “If your sins are blood-red, they'll be snow-white. If they're red like crimson, they'll be like wool-ish.” 1:18. That’s positively positive and loving.