It is INCREDIBLE, but we have just learned that at the request of the Israeli Foreign Ministry, Hollywood has agreed to pull the new hit "Pearl Harbor" flick off the screens and replace it with an Israeli-made substitute.

The new flick is also called Pearl Harbor, to confuse things a bit. But it has a slightly modified screenplay.

In brief, it begins with an illegal colonialist settlement in Hawaii named Honolulu and its naval base, armed by insensitive troops who do not understand the Other. One fine Sunday morning the Japanese military attacks Battleship Row and kill a lot of soldiers and civilians. No doubt their comeuppance for years of discrimination and bigotry. After all, the Japanese earn LESS than do the Americans, proving discrimination!

Franklin D. Roosevelt then announces a unilateral ceasefire with the Japanese Imperial forces. He explains to the public that this will prove to the world that the Japanese are not seeking peace and will arouse world sympathy for the US. And to drive his point home he releases all imprisoned Japanese and German spies. He then takes positive action - as called for under the Walter Winchell Report - and cuts military expenditures by the US while turning Midway over to the Japs.

After that, Roosevelt proposes that the US flag be altered and a red sun replace the 48 stars on the blue space. He demands that the poetry of Japanese kamikazes be taught in US public schools, and that the Japanese narrative be given equal time in history textbooks. The entire US media is under the hegemony of the pro-Japanese lobby led by William Randolph Hearst.

When a kamikaze blows up a disco club on Waikiki Beach, FDR orders the US navy to stop provoking the Japanese with their presence in Hawaii and instead head home for Oakland, within the Green Line. The Japanese Embassy in Washington is invited to establish its sovereignty over Arlington and Alexandria, as well as Northwest DC. Republicans are then arrested and jailed for inciting against the peace process with the Japanese. Anti-peace pastors and ministers are dragged in for questioning. The Attorney General develops a speech code. Among words prohibited under the new code are nip, yellow, Asian, Ace, emperor and slant. The American press expresses anguish over the actions of the Japanese activists over Pearl Harbor and calls for talks. Radio shows speak at length about the sufferings of Japanese mothers whose sons were shot down during the attack on Hawaii.

Roosevelt then begs world leaders to use their influence with the Japanese to enter into negotiations. He offers all of California, Alaska and Oregon to the Japanese as a goodwill gesture to try to get them to agree to a ceasefire. The Emperor rejects the offer as too stingy. After all, Florida is still occupied territory and no peace is possible until the illegal settlement in Miami is removed. The US then carries out a unilateral withdrawal from its bases in the Philippines and Guam, since the Four Mothers protesters insist this is necessary to avoid bloodshed.

The Japanese escalate their attacks. Bombs go off in US cities. Japanese mortar shells land in Bethesda. US ships are attacked all over the world. The European press condemns US obstinacy and immorality. US responses to the Pearl Harbor attack are denounced as totally out of proportion. The American body count rises. The Golden Gate bridge is bombed, as are the bridges connecting Manhattan. San Diegans are forced to live in underground shelters. Roosevelt orders that US high schoolers be required to speak Japanese fluently to get their diplomas.

Finally, in the year 1953, the Japanese manage to detonate a crude atomic device over Boston harbor. Harry Truman, who has since taken over, then declares that the determination of the US will not be broken by this atrocity and that the unilateral ceasefire will continue indefinitely!!

The End (of the USA).

Copyright © 2001 by Steven Plaut.
All Rights Reserved.

-Published with permission