1. As predicted in these corners, the strategy of the Labor Party to push through its program of Anshluss in Jerusalem will be through attacking free speech in Israel. The Labor Party at the head of the Israeli Left has long argued that only leftist opinions should be allowed to be expressed in post-democratic Israel.

   The number two McCarthyist in the Israeli Labor Party junta is of course Dalia Izhik, the multiracial smurfette of the Israeli Left. (Number one is Ofir Pines). She just launched the official Labor Party First Amendment festival by demanding that Rabbis criticizing the plan by Barak and his junta to agree to Clinton’s proposed Anshluss should not only be silenced but imprisoned. Itzik is of course pulling out that old McCarthyist favorite in Israel from her little blue head, the claim that Rabin’s assassination was caused by the exercise of free speech in Israel. People should be prohibited from criticizing the Left because such criticism causes assassination, squeaks the smurfette.

   In particular, the targets of her little blue McCarthyism are Rabbis.

   Many Rabbis are not happy with the idea of turning the Old City of Jerusalem and the Temple Mount over to PLO fascists, as Clinton demands. And Barak has already said "it will be hard to say no to Clinton if Arafat says yes." Hard? Watch! Read my lips. NNNNNNNNooooooooooooooo!! Just say No!! What part of NO don’t you understand Ehud?

   But Itzik and her fellow lefty smurfs plan to prevent such people from stopping the Anshluss, by demanding they be imprisoned for "criminal incitement".

2. Even Israel’s leftist dovish McClellenist military chief of staff, Shaul Mofaz, insists that Israel will be undefendable if the Israeli government agrees to accept "Clinton’s Last Stain" program of capitulation. One of these days he might even display serendipity and discover that Arafat is a terrorist.

3. Meanwhile, Israel just rewarded Arafat for his recent campaign of atrocities, including a bomb yesterday on a Tel Aviv bus, by changing its mind about preventing His Ugliness from ever seeing Jerusalem with his own eyes until he abandons terrorism for real. Instead, Arafat practices terrorism and the Israeli Hellenists conducted him on a VIP visit past the walls of the Old City on Christmas eve, almost right out of the Dickens story, lest he miss the opportunity to celebrate Christmas in Bethlehem by calling for jihad. Arafat responded by promising to blow up Tiny Tim on the next Egged bus.

4. An American tourist defiled the Western Wall yesterday with red paint to show his solidarity with the Palestinian fascists. Guess he had been reading Tikkun magazine a lot during Christmas break.

5. Arik Sharon is leading NeBARAKnezzar by about two to one in the polls. Which is why Dalia Itzik and her little blue friends are playing the McCarthyism card.

6. It is commonplace in Israel to assume that people who drive their own new cars all vote for the Labor Party and Meretz, whereas people who ride buses vote for the Likud. As in other places, no one who is actually a worker ever votes for the worker’s party, in our case the Labor Party junta. Labor is strictly a party of Israeli pampered yuppies.

   Which explains how come yesterday the Israeli government decided that there would be a sharp DROP in gasoline and fuel prices in Israel at the same time that there would be an increase in bus fares, just in time for the elections.

7. Little Napoleon seems to be losing the "center". Both Dan Meridor and Roni baloney Milo have announced they would back the Likud if Barak proceeds with the Al-Aqsa Anshluss.

8. The Israeli Left has a new cause. You see, the government is discriminating once again against secularists.

   Huh?

   You see, the Ministry of Labor runs retraining courses for the unemployed under the off-chance that they will prefer working to getting nice dole payments and sunning themselves.

   These include training courses in things like computers.

   Ordinarily the courses are open to all. But - hold on to your streimel - the Ministry runs courses every once in a while in which men and women take the courses separately, in single-gender environment. These are designed for ultra-Orthodox haredim, who prefer the gender-specific courses, but could also be chosen I guess by Druse and others who have a similar preference. The men don’t attend with the women, nor verse vica.

   But this means that secularists who have no such objection cannot attend when the Israelis of the opposite gender are in class. And the Left has decided (Globes Dec 24-25, 00) that these are "Orthodox-only" courses that discriminate against the poor oppressed Israeli secularists.

Copyright © 2000 by Steven Plaut.
All Rights Reserved.

-Published with permission