The nations of the world gathered at the United Nations headquarters in New York. All other matters were stripped from the agenda and tabled, everything from the mass murders in Algeria to the war against Al-Qaeida to the violence in India. Only one subject occupied the attention of all.

The resolution was introduced by a coalition of European countries. It was very simple. The resolution declared that Israel would henceforth be the only nation on earth to practice Christianity as its foreign policy.

The resolution was quickly endorsed by a surprising number of countries. The State Department of Colin Powell welcomed the idea as an original promising new approach, and President Bush agreed. Every Christian nation represented in the United Nations voted in favor of the resolution, as did all Moslem countries. The only hesitant voice came from the Vatican; the Pope demanded to know why the countries that had proposed the resolution were themselves not practicing Christianity as THEIR foreign policies. The sponsoring countries told the Pope to butt out and besides look how many of THEM have crosses on THEIR flags.

According to the resolution, Israeli would be declared the only true Christian nation on earth. It would henceforth respond to all acts of Arab violence by turning the other cheek. It would react to all provocations by forgiving its enemies. It would lecture the world about how all men have some good and some evil in them, and so Palestinian terrorists should have their good nurtured. The resolution declared that if God could forgive murdering terrorists, why should not the Jews? The world had long ago forgiven the Germans on behalf of the Jews, so why not the Palestinians?

Reactions to the resolution among Jews were varied. The Religious Action Center of the Reform synagogue movement and the Reconstructionist movement immediately endorsed the idea of accepting the resolution. After all, said the RAC’s David Saperstein, we had no interest in practicing Judaism anyway. Tikkun magazine ran a special issue showing the Israeli flag melting down into a nice cross. But others were not so sure.

Within Israel, the debate over the resolution was simpler. The Israeli Labor Party took the lead in advocating that Israel embrace the resolution with enthusiasm and without reservation. After all, explained Yossi Beilin, we have known all along that there is no solution to the problems of war besides turning the other cheek, and if there WERE - it should never be used. Meretz agreed and Yossi Sarid changed his name to Saint Joey. The Shinui Party of Tommy Lapid welcomed the idea as a way to end the religious coercion of Jewish Orthodox cicles.

The Likud however was split. President Katsav supported the idea of going to Ramallah to forgive Arafat and the terrorists. Other Likud backbenchers agreed. But some felt uncomfortable about the idea, because they feared the National Religious Party would vote against them if they changed the flag to a nice blue cross on white cloth. These dissidents proposed instead a simple all-white banner be used as the new flag.

Israeli university professors endorsed the idea of a Christian foreign policy in huge numbers. So did the communist parties in Israel, on condition that no party members be asked to attend any church services. The Four Mothers organization and its sister groups banded together and renamed themselves Jews for Jesus. They led a march to the Ramallah headquarters of the PLO, singing hosannas. Amos Oz and Israeli poets sponsored special recitations of the Sermon on the Mount.

As part of the new foreign policy, the Israeli government voted to dismember all tanks, planes and instruments of violence. As a special demonstration of its commitment to a Christian foreign policy, it turned all of the churches in Nazareth over to the Moslem Waqf.

Overseas, a handful of protesters took to the streets of American and European cities to demand that other countries besides Israel adopt pure Christianity as THEIR foreign policies as well, but these were whisked off to prison.

Just before newstime this evening we reported a large army of soldiers from Syria, Egypt and Iraq marching towards the Holy Land singing Onward Christian Soldiers.

But we have to break now for the basketball game.