Let’s Make a Deal
The Oslo Online Internet Game

June 18, 2002

by Steven Plaut

Introducing the new state-of-the-art Peace Game, in which you and your friends can analyze what will happen if a Palestinian state arises in the West Bank and Gaza with East Jerusalem as its capital. Here are some samplings of this Fun-for-the-Whole-Family Game!! To play, just hit the function key of your choice after each question to give your answer:

1. The independent state of Palestine will:

F1. Seek peace alongside Israel.
F2. Develop its own economy for benefit and well being of its own people.
F3. Develop democratic institutions.
F10. Seek to destroy Israel militarily.

2. The government of Palestine will:

F1. Arrest the Hamas and Jihad terrorists.
F2. Introduce school texts that speak about coexistence with Israel.
F3. Renounce claims to lands in remaining Israel.
F10. Send into Israel thousands of suicide bombers and other terrorists.

3. Independent Palestine will:

F1. Absorb Palestinian refugees so that never again will they be an issue.
F2. Promote economic growth.
F3. Develop honest government.
F10. Devote itself to terrorism and bury Israel in bombs and missiles.

4. If Palestine attacks Israel,

F1. It will never happen. Trust us.
F2. Israel’s Left will lead the charge to serve in the military and take reprisals.
F3. Israel’s Left will demand that the recognition of independent Palestine be revoked.
F10. Israel’s Left will demand that Israel be destroyed because it is a racist colonialist state.

5. When Palestine sends terrorists into Israel to murder children,

F1. The US State Department will back up Israeli military reprisals.
F2. Haaretz newspaper will support Israeli military reprisals.
F3. Israeli professors and the Israeli Labor Party will support reprisals.
F10. All of the above will demand that Israel exercise restraint and that any reprisals are state terrorism and besides there are no military solutions to terrorism and besides Israel is obstinate and needs to make more concessions.

6. When Israel agrees to an independent Palestinian state:

F1. The world will congratulate Israel on its civilized behavior.
F2. The world will congratulate Israel on its moderation and goodwill.
F3. The world will offer Israel financial and diplomatic rewards for its taking such chances for peace.
F10. The world will demand that Israel’s existence be revoked and that Israel be merged under the rule of Palestine and that the Jewish colonialists be expelled.

7. An accord in which an independent Palestine emerges will result in:

F1. Peace and goodwill among men.
F2. The breaking out of democracy throughout the Middle East.
F3. A new era of post-conflict human history.
F10. A second Holocaust of Jews and the consequent end of Jewish history.

If you answered F10 to any of the above questions, you are an enemy of peace and will soon be rounded up by the Oslo anti-racism patrols, and will be tried for criminal incitement against peace.