Limericks | |||||||||||||||
The Limerick Lady
Shirley J. Bailey
The fili-bluster is nuts |
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Satire and Jokes | |||||||||||||||
"The Positive Side of Life" Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live. Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open. Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them? Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us. If Walmart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet? You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened. We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors ... but they all exist very nicely in the same box. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. Do you realize the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging
that you think in fractions. But then you turn 30. You BECOME 21, you TURN 30... Before you know it, you REACH 50...and your dreams are gone. But wait, You MAKE IT to 60 You didn't think you would! You've built up so much speed that you...HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; You HIT Wednesday! Into the 90s, you start going backwards: If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. May you all make it (healthily) to 100... and a half! Undeniable Rules of Life! 1. If you're too open minded, your brains fall out. CROSSING THE RIVER One day three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a raging river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea how to do so. The first man prayed, Saying, " Please God, give me the strength to cross the river." POOF ! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning. Seeing this, the second man prayed, saying, " Please God, give me the strength and the tools to cross the river." POOF ! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to cross the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing. The third man had seen how this worked for the others, so he also
prayed, " Please God, give me the strength and the tools, and
the intelligence to cross the river. And POOF ! God turned him into
a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred
yards, then walked across the bridge. |
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Audio Humor | |||||||||||||||
Recording of FBI phone call to the Taliban government. (1.6Mb MP3 file) | |||||||||||||||
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Visual Humor | |||||||||||||||
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To send us the latest joke, photo, or funny clip, e mail us at Submissions@ConservativeTruth.org | |||||||||||||||