Why Hillary is Ready to be President

When thinking about writing on the subject of Hillary Clinton’s candidacy for president, I had to get an early start. Reviewing all of her misleading quotes, her Alinskyite actions, and her non-answers to difficult questions, it became apparent that it was going to be a time-consuming chore. I had to get this done before the 2016 Democrat presidential candidate was chosen; so naturally, in light of reviewing the voluminous incidents of Hillary being Hillary, I started this column in June of 2013. Well, okay, that’s a bit of a Clintonian exaggeration, but what difference, at this point, does it make?

 
After keeping up with the news of all the federal felony counts that are stacking up against her- each email with information “Classified” or above on the secrecy scale is one count- plus each lie she has told publicly, whether to a reporter or to congressional committees, is a count of felony obstruction, I have begun to feel sorry for her. I mean, after all, she was just trying to get rich at the public trough just like a lot of other politicians. So what if she and Bill just happen to be good at it?
 
And this whole business of $6 billion disappearing from the State Department while she was Secretary of State. I mean, come on. Let’s get real here. Uncle Sam doesn’t have billions, he’s got trillions. I’m slapping my knee laughing over that one. Six little billion dollars missing. That’s what, a dozen studies at the EPA about bird poop habits or how salmon know how to come back to Alaska after being gone for many years? Or why salmon go back to Alaska when they should know the bears are just going to eat them. Stupid salmon. They deserve it.
 
Which kinda brings us back to Democrat voters. Hillary is simply trying to save the party from socialists. She made this clear when Chris Matthews of USSRNBC asked her, “What’s the difference between a socialist and a Democrat?” It was an enlightening exchange, wherein Hillary set the record straight for all to see. From the actual transcript, it went like this:
 
Hillary:  Well...
Matthews:  Is that a question you want to answer, or would you rather not?
Hillary:  Well, you know, I- you’d have to ask...
Matthews:  Well, see, I’m asking you. You’re a Democrat, he’s (Bernie Sanders) a socialist. You- would you like someone to call you a socialist? I wouldn’t like someone calling me a socialist.
Hillary:  But I’m not one.
Matthews:  Okay.
Hillary:  I’m not one.
Matthews:  What’s the difference between a socialist and a Democrat?
Hillary:  Well, I can tell you what I am. I am a progressive Democrat.
Matthews:  How’s that different than a socialist?
Hillary:  I’m a progressive Democrat who likes to get things done and who believes...
Matthews:  Okay.
Hillary:  ... that we are better off in this country when we’re trying to solve problems together.
Matthews:  Right.
Hillary:  Getting people to work together. There will always be strong feelings, and I respect that, from, you know, the far right, the far left, Libertarians. But whoever it might be, we need to get people working together. We got to get the economy fixed...
Matthews:  Okay.
Hillary:  ... we got to get all of our problems, you know, really...
Matthews:  I know.
Hillary:  ... tackled. And that’s what I want to do.
Matthews:  I think the difference is, and Debbie Wasserman Schultz wouldn’t answer the question either, I asked her. Because I know politically you have to keep together the center left and the left have to still work together. I know all that. Let me ask you about working together. You gave a nice speech here today in Osage about the need to- I wrote a book about Tip and Reagan. When it comes to an urgent issue, they can find a solution.
Hillary:  Right.
 
So in the exchange above, we learned two things:  1) Hillary made a firm stand against socialism. Hang on, let me read that again. It’s somewhere in there. 2) What was really overlooked here by the national press in this enlightening interview was the key word “tackle.” She was communicating to people that she is a football fan. That right there oughta gain her millions of votes. We know she won’t spend half her presidency out on the golf course. No, she’ll be in the Lincoln Bedroom watching old film of the 1965 Cotton Bowl when Arkansas beat Nebraska to remain undefeated and win the national championship.
 
Take heart, America. Hillary won’t venture far from Washington. When that 3 a.m. call comes in about some international crisis, she’ll be in the White House. She and Huma will be watching football on video cassette, hung over. There will be nachos and popcorn all over the floor, but she’ll be there.
 
No one can extol their own accomplishments like Hillary. In March of 2014 she responded to the question of what she was most proud of and she clearly laid it out:

  “My accomplishments as Secretary of State? Well, I'm glad you asked! My proudest accomplishment in which I take the most pride, mostly because of the opposition it faced early on, you know… the remnants of prior situations and mind-sets that were too narrowly focused in a manner whereby they may have overlooked the bigger picture, and we didn't do that, and I'm proud of that. Very proud. I would say that's a major accomplishment."

Nailed it! Dang right! She has every right to be proud of... that.
 
So forget about all the garbage you hear of her poor ethics- come on, she was, er, I mean, is married to Bill. What do you expect? Billy Graham? Forget about the fact that way back when she is the one who chose Janet Reno as Attorney General. Forget that she was the enabler for a sexual predator. Forget her lack of accomplishments as a US Senator. Forget about that little matter of shakedowns at the Clinton Foundation. What difference, at this point, does it make?
 
She is ready to be president. Of something.