To Be A Good Liberal
August 29, 2011
By Tom Barrett
Dear readers: I am preparing to leave on a trip to Mexico to speak for Lance Wallnauís group. I find that I donít have time to properly research the article I had planned to write this week. So instead, I offer you some truth mixed with humor that one of our readers sent me.
TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL, you have to believe:
- That the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
- That the same teacher who canít teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
- That guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.
- That there was no art before Federal funding.
- That global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earthís climate than by yuppies driving SUVs.
- That gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
- That capital punishment is bad, but abortion on demand is good.
- That businesses create oppression, and governments create prosperity.
- That hunters donít care about nature, but loony activists whoíve never been outside of Seattle do.
- That self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
- That the military, not corrupt politicians, starts wars.
- That the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
- That taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
- That Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee, or Thomas Edison.
- That homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected & manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
- That standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides arenít.
- That Conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but liars and sex offenders belong in the White House.
- That the only reason Socialism hasnít worked anywhere itís been tried, is because the right people havenít been in charge.