There is a big difference between education and indoctrination. Educate: To develop knowledge, skill, or character. Indoctrinate: To instruct in doctrines, theories, or beliefs. The sex education you may have received in school is worlds apart from what your children are faced with today.
What passes for sex education in our public schools and many of our private schools today is actually sex indoctrination. These courses are designed to indoctrinate students with a liberal version of morality rather than giving them the knowledge they need. The morals taught in sex-ed courses come from the instructors’ world views. The world view of most sex educators is embodied in the theories of secular humanism.
We cannot blame sex teachers for teaching their moral position regarding sex while they teach sex education. The way we conduct our sexual lives is based on our morals. So it is impossible to teach about sex without talking about the morality of sex. The morality that is commonly taught in sex education classes is derived from secular humanism, the official religion of the National Education Association. That moral framework, in the minds of most Americans, is equivalent to no morality at all. This concept of morality was best articulated by the Hippie generation: "If it feels good, do it!" This is not what most of us want our children and grandchildren hearing from their teachers.
So what is the answer? If sex cannot be taught without morals, and the morals being taught are wrong, what can we do? We can teach our kids at home, and refuse to allow the professional sex educators to indoctrinate them with an amoral morality.
Some of you are saying to yourselves, "What is Tom so worked up over? They’re just teaching the kids about the birds and the bees. You know, sperm meets egg, baby is conceived, baby is born." If that’s what you believe, let me challenge you to try to attend your child’s sex education class. I used the word "try" because you probably won’t be allowed to do so. School administrators will either flatly refuse to let you sit in on the class, or they will discourage you from doing so. "Having parents in the class will embarrass the children and discourage free discussion." If you succeed in observing a class it will likely be a very sanitized version of what your children would normally hear. I believe that if most of you knew what your kids were being taught, you would never allow them to attend their school’s sex education classes.
There is not enough room to detail all the objectionable material that is being poured into your children’s impressionable young minds, so I’ll hit two highlights. The primary message is that kids are going to have sex, so we need to tell them how to do it safely. There may be some information about abstinence, but most sex-ed teachers really believe that it is inevitable that your children are going to have sex before marriage. This is why they think they are doing them (and you) a favor by accepting this as a fact, and teaching them how to do it without making babies or getting diseases.
There is a basic flaw in this concept. Young people tend to meet the expectations of the authority figures in their lives. You and your clergyman attempt to communicate your expectation that your children will remain virgins until they marry. Their teachers, who spend about four times as much time influencing your children as you do, clearly communicate their expectation that they will have sex in their early teens. They do so in their lectures and in their textbooks. They do so by giving condoms to your children without your knowledge or consent. They do so by allowing school nurses to give them advice about birth control and abortion, again without parental consent. Add peer pressure to this mix, and unless you have helped your children establish a very strong moral foundation, they WILL have sex before marriage.
The second most dangerous feature of today’s sex education is the attempt to convince our young people that deviant lifestyles are normal. They portray monogamous heterosexual marriages as just one of many equally acceptable types of families. In their view, two homosexuals raising a young adopted boy is just as acceptable. They encourage children to "explore their sexuality," telling them that they may "discover" they are homosexual, bisexual, or even that they are really a member of the opposite sex, somehow trapped in the wrong body! When hormones start raging in adolescents, they are often confused by the sexual feelings they experience. They don’t need a teacher planting the thought in their minds that they may actually not be a boy or a girl.
I realize that a few school boards have refused to teach these radical courses. And I know that many good, moral teachers try to get the right message across to their students, knowing they may get fired for doing so. But the majority of sex education classes nationwide are as I have described them. Doctor Dobson has reported on Focus on the Family that a federally approved video promoting acceptance of "alternative families" (translation: same-sex "parents") is being shown to students as early as kindergarten. For further documentation, you need only go to the official web site of The Sex Education Coalition: www.sexedcoalition.org . Check out their philosophy, and also explore some of their "highly recommended links" to other web sites. Pretty scary stuff.
Our daughter will be home-schooled, so my wife and I will not have to deal with this problem. If she was attending a public school, I would send a registered letter (signature required) to her school’s principal informing him or her that Sarah was not to attend any sex education classes or sex-ed classes disguised as "health" classes. I would say that if I found she had been required to attend any such courses, I would sue the school and any administrators that were responsible. If your child attends a public school, or a secular private school, I would suggest writing that letter today.
IN HER OWN WORDS. Normally when I send an article to our Editorial Board for review, I incorporate their comments and suggestions in the body of the article, as I have done with the article above. However, Nancy Bustani, a therapist who deals with sexually abused patients, articulated her comments so well that I decided to publish them in her own words.
"You can refer to the schools’ apparently deficient way of handling sex education because it hasn’t yielded positive results. If teaching children that it is all right to have sex by the age of 12 or 13 is considered successful, researchers might want to take a look at STD figures. Sexually transmitted diseases are alarmingly on the increase. In some wealthy upper middle-class communities, STD’s have become epidemic. Syphilis, which was almost obliterated during the past three decades is now a major concern for many teenagers. PBS had an excellent documentary on this subject several weeks ago.
"Everything you wrote is correct, but the bottom line is that our country is in a state of unprecedented moral decay. This, I believe, is a direct result of the Clinton administration. He undermined the family in many ways; one of the most critical was through the messages he sent the American people regarding his affair with Monica Lewinsky. As a result, children ages seven and up know what oral sex is. They don’t consider it sex. Many of my own clients have told me this. Young people today think that oral sex is equivalent to simply ’playing around.’ Healthy adults know that it isn’t."
FROM THE EMAIL BOX
We received a tremendous number of responses to last week’s column about one Cuban family’s journey from oppression in Communist Cuba to freedom in the United States thirty years ago. Here is a sampling of the responses:
"I had no idea. I’m so humbled that you shared Ana’s story. It is the most awesome, poignant chronicle of God’s grace. Thank you. Give your precious wife a big hug for me. I’m going to let the rest of my family read it- it was very touching. Can I have your permission to read this to my psychology class at the college? Nancy Bustani."
"Tom: Great column on Freedom Day! Personal experiences make the best columns. Many years ago in Chicago, Mike Royko told us his secret of success was that he wrote about feelings, not ideas. That always stuck with me. Your Freedom Day column evokes feelings! Thanks & God Bless!"
Dennis Lombard, Editor & Publisher, Home Times Newspaper www.hometimes.org
"Well, you did it again. Tom, I so appreciate how you reach HEARTS- not just minds- when you write. My best friend, a Metro Dade Homicide Detective, is the son of Cuban immigrants. I witnessed this heart of gratitude a thousand times over in the daily lives of so many I met who came from Cuba with nothing but hope and dreams. And I was often put to shame by the work ethic and morals of this generation of people who understand oppression and love liberty. Thanks for how you exercise your gifts to provoke men’s hearts. Jim Vignoli."
"Wow! This was a wonderful story. I am of Italian decent and my grandfather too embraced this country after fleeing Italy and the Mafia oppression. Luisa Fenton."
"Thank you for sharing the story of Ana’s family. It is a wonderful reminder of the inordinate amount of blessings most take for granted here in the States. My wife is from Korea. Her family lost many relatives in the Korean War, and others were left on the other side of the 38th parallel...never to be heard from again. Thank God Ana and the others were set free from Castro’s sick experiment. It shows that only God’s love heals and releases people, not government or ideologies. Praise Him for setting us truly free. Richard Cohen."